I quickly assured the bus driver Emma had both shoes when she got on the bus so it wasn't me but, for appearances sake, I quickly searched the house. Oops, there the missing shoe was right in the middle of Emma's hospital bed. As stupid as I felt for that, it only got worse as I quickly realized I had also only shaved one side of my face.
Now, you're probably wondering how anybody could possibly be that dumb so let me explain. Months ago I googled "psycho child" and it came back, "There is hope," and that's the problem, my other brain injured daughter, Hope. While Emma is a quiet as a mouse, 5-year-old Hope is, how do I say this tactfully, not, as evidenced by the multiple police reports that have resulted from innocent bystanders wondering, "what the #$%^l was that," and calling 911.
So there you have it. Hope was in fine form this morning going psycho because there was a spot on her shirt, her old fart of a father was trying desperately to get both girls ready for school before their school buses arrived, and things fell through the cracks. Well, at least I didn't fall on my crack. I've already done that numerous times due to a balance problem and don't want to do it again. Did I just imply I'm unbalanced?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go shave the other side of my face.